My New Me: Counselling and outcome

We both went to Counseling but the Counselor felt it was more a marriage issue than my husband having problems as a result of Radiotherapy. That night he was angry at things I had brought up but they needed to be aired as he was avoiding conflict by using what I considered to be blackmail.
My husband kept saying that he "did not realise things were so bad" and yes I do believe that he may not have realised as he stopped me from telling by threatening "to end it all" if I continued to harass him.
As a result of the counseling together he consented he was suffering from depression and he did need to go and get antidepressants which he started taking and working through the side effects of nausea, head spins and tiredness. I left as he went to see the Dr to have a 3 week break visiting a Natural Therapist who does Medical Massage of the spine as I have had scoliosis since a fall from a pony at 16 yrs of age where I had a painful back but did not mention it as I feared being taken back to the Chiro with that pain which lasted a couple of months, Xrays taken years later show a fractured vertebra in L4-5 position and a crushed tailbone. I also have a hormonal breast lump that changed position after my wonderful 50th birthday where previously I had told my Auntie "I will be there with bells on" so unwisely wore metal bells on my pocket. I was facing Radiotherapy planning for my Husband the next week and was very much not wanting to go through with it as after his Radiotherapy for Lip cancers in 1983 and 1996 he had definite personality changes and I did not feel I could adjust to yet another personality in my marriage. Having lost the man I married after just 18 mths of marriage has always been a source of grief to me.